Once again, I have chosen to take a traditional Christmas song or carol and create a fun technology-related version of it to share with you. This is the fifth year and the eighth song, so I hope you enjoy your 2018 holiday song.

Grandma got over run by a neural network
Walking home from our mall on Christmas Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as machine learning
But as for me and grandpa we believe ...

She’d been shopping too much on the Internet
And we begged her not to Google any more
But she forgot her medication
And grabbed her smart phone and headed out the door ...

When we found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the combined offerings
She had pathing analysis on her phone
And indiscriminate discounts on her watch ...

Grandma got over run by a neural network
Walking home from our mall on Christmas Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as machine learning
But as for me and grandpa we believe ...

Now we’re all so proud of grandpa
He’s been taking this so well
See him in there watching tv, learning about decision trees
Drinking beer and making predictions using deep learning ...

It’s not Christmas without Grandma
All the algorithms expressed in binary code
And we just can’t help but wonder
Did they use supervised or unsupervised algorithms
Or did they use forecasting and optimization?

Grandma got over run by a neural network
Walking home from our mall on Christmas Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as machine learning
But as for me and grandpa we believe ...

Grandma was the target and the models were compared
And the champion model chosen
And the score code was deployed
That’s what generated all those offers that overwhelmed grandma at the mall ...

I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for themselves
They should not give out all their information on the Web
Whether they do it in a discriminate or indiscriminate way ...

Grandma got over run by a neural network
Walking home from our mall on Christmas Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as machine learning
But as for me and grandpa we believe ...

Happy holidays everyone!

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About Author

David Pope

Technical Leader, Senior Manager US Energy

David leads the pre-sales technical team for SAS US Energy which solves business problems in the Oil & Gas and Utilities industries using advanced analytics. He earned a BS in Industry Engineering and a Computer Programming Certificate from North Carolina State University. Furthermore, he has over 27 years of business experience working with SAS across R&D, IT, Sales and Marketing in the Americas and Europe. He is an expert in working with data and producing insights through the use of analytics. David has presented at SAS Global Forum, the 2012 SAS Government Leadership Summit, IBM’s Information on Demand(IOD), EMC World, CTO Summit Conferences, is the author of the book: "Big Data Analytics with SAS", and he currently holds 11 patents for SAS in several countries: US, CA, Norway, UK, China, and Hong Kong.

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