Many of you know that I have lived for over a decade in an under-resourced neighborhood in Durham. I love my neighbors and my community. And I have learned the truth of Aboriginal activist Lilla Watson’s sage axiom, “If you have come to help me you are wasting your time; but if you are here because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”
What I also know from experience that is based on solid research is that a healthy adult role model can make all the difference in the life of a young person. I find that modeling can be quite natural (walking briskly in my neighborhood for exercise after work each day, disagreeing with my spouse in a calm & non-confrontational way, leaving for work on time each morning, tending to my yard and helping an elderly neighbor with hers). But guess what? Kids on my street notice these things and comment on them. Even passively, my life has impact.
Being a healthy adult role model can also be quite active and can take many forms—coaching a sports team, tutoring a student, assisting with a science fair project, teaching a Sunday school class, leading a scout troop or after-school coding club, or even apprenticing a young person in your hobby. According to Gene Roehlkepartain, PhD, with Search Institute, the 5 things any young person needs to experience in their relationship with you are[i]:
- Express CARE
- CHALLENGE growth
- Provide SUPPORT
- Share POWER
- Expand POSSIBILITIES
The truth of the matter is that kids who meet regularly with a formal or informal adult mentor are less likely to skip school, break the law or take drugs according to a 2009 study by Public/Private Ventures published in Sociology of Education.
Yes, it does take a village, but you can be one person in a youth’s life who can help build in key developmental assets.
Feel free to share your story of how an adult mentor changed your life or what you are learning in the process of serving as a role model/mentor in a young person’s life. And remember, it goes both ways. We have a lot to learn from our young friends. Mutual liberation, to be sure!
[i] http://www.search-institute.org/blog/research-update-developmental-relationships
