(Sometimes the ROI is never having to say you're sorry.)
5000 BC: Grog uses two sticks and four rocks to graph the upward trend in sales of his new invention, the wheel.
3200 BC: Sumerian analysts predict the world's use of letters will be greater than Mesopotamia's supply of clay tablets by 3,000BC. Analysts suggest something called "papyrus" may solve the problem.
44BC: Roman leader Caesar receives analysts’ prediction that March will be a "down month," but disregards the data.
1508: Michelangelo uses an advanced abacus to estimate the amount of paint needed to cover the Sistine Chapel.
1590: The Globe Theatre of London text mines peasants' comments after a play by a fellow named "Shakespeare" and decides to ask him to write more plays like the last one.
1908: Henry Ford conducts a What-If analysis that makes clear that limiting the Model-T to one color, black, is the best way to maximize profits.
1962: The Beatles manager uses early marketing automation software to reveal that Ringo should not sing lead on "I Want to Hold Your Hand." John and Paul take over on the microphones.
1969: Woodstock ends in financial disaster after organizers rely on spreadsheets to estimate attendance. Hippies dance anyway.
1976: Analysts’ predictions that this will be the bicentennial of the United States are fulfilled. World gains sudden interest in the power of predictive analytics.
1976: SAS is formed and begins to give businesses The Power to Know.
1 Comment
This is hilarious, Elliot. 1969 is my favorite. "Hippies dance anyway," is a great line.