Beyond the Basics: How to Be an Active and Supportive Ally

Finn and Lisa at Finn's graduation with a Master of Social Work.

Lisa Allred, Senior Program Manager in Work/Life, is joined by her adult child, Finn Draper. Finn is a non-binary therapist at Three Oaks Behavioral Health in Wake County.

This week is Transgender Awareness Week. If you want to find activities in your community, check with your local LGBTQ+ Center. In this blog post we are going to encourage you to go a little deeper into your journey as an ally. We would love to hear your suggestions in the comments!

Shifting Your Mindset

Practice Using Pronouns

It is harmful and damaging to continue to misgender co-workers, friends, and family members. If you are unfamiliar with using a set of pronouns, start practicing using them casually in your own life. Set aside 5 minutes a day to talk out loud to yourself about the person whose name or pronouns you are trying to learn. Practicing saying them over and over will make it easier. Don’t misgender them when they aren’t in the room. Use the correct pronouns ALL THE TIME and that will help you master their pronouns if you are having difficulty.

Address Your Own Perceptions of Gender

In addition to searching out information, do some internal self-reflecting. Start considering your own gender. Reflect on how you view different transgender people in your life and in media. When you ask people if they have a romantic partner do you automatically use pronouns that are gendered? Do you use gendered language when alternatives are available? Are you misgendering someone because you have not unpacked your own perceptions/bias of their gender?

Independent Learning

Skill Building

Look for trainings on implicit bias, cultural competency, and being trauma-informed. For trainings in the community and online, check out the resources listed below.

Wake County

LGBT Center of Raleigh

LGBTQ Center of Durham

Transgender Initiative

Significant Others Friends, Family, and Allies (SoFFA)

Youth Programs

Other Areas

Equality NC

PFLAG National

Human Rights Campaign

The Trevor Project

Don’t forget you can search online!

Legislation that impacts Trans and LGBTQ+ people

Local- Watch what your town or schoolboard is discussing. Consider how policies might affect transgender residents.

State- Stay up to date on bills being brought in at the State level. Use this ACLU page to see anti-transgender bills specifically in NC and other states.

Federal- Monitor how transgender rights are being discussed and addressed at the federal level.

Get involved! Know your representatives and what they stand for. Reach out to those representatives when you see an anti-transgender bill.

Hopefully, you are feeling inspired to take your allyship to the next level. If so, we have created an action item list to help you get started!

Take the Implicit Bias Test to become more self-aware

Add pronouns to your email signature; share your pronouns when introducing yourself

Post a message in support of LGBTQ+ issues on social media

Integrate inclusive language into your regular conversations

Attend an LGBTQ+ community event