Most people in the throes of grief long for the day when the pain and confusion will lessen, when grief will 'loosen its grip' so that they can experience happiness again, even when they can’t really believe that day will ever come.  But when that day does come — the day where you find yourself laughing out loud and really enjoying yourself, where you are looking forward to a new hobby or a special event, where you notice you haven’t thought about the person who died all day — when that longed-for moment finally comes you can be hit with an unexpected wave of grief — in the all-too-familiar but somehow still surprising form of guilt and self-doubt.

Mitzi Quint is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Durham, NC. She has 18 years of experience as a bereavement counselor for hospice programs.  In addition to her expertise in grief, she has extensive experience in counseling adults through loss and transitions of all kinds, including chronic illness, terminal illness, caregiving, troubling relationships, job loss and changes, life passages, and identity changes.  www.mitziquint.com

 

“Like the stars by day, our beloved dead are not seen with mortal eyes. Yet they shine…

Those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words, and what they did is part of what we have become.  Thus, even when they are gone, the departed are with us, moving us to live fully. We do best homage to our dead when we live our lives most fully, even in the shadow of their loss."

Quote is excerpted from: The Memorial Rituals Book For Healing And Hope, edited by Ann Marie Putter